Normal for me has never ever been normal for everyone else. Even in my "normal" I am wierd..keep to myself, a bookworm, but will talk the few friends I have to death, sometimes in person...I don't do phone calls, often. Email minimally, not bunches to the same people in the course of a day. Feeling relaxed, as much as I ever have. Happy, no depression or anxious thoughts, minimal worry about things that may or may not happen. Comfortable with my friends at church, without second guessing whether they really care or whether I really belong. They make it clear that I do, although I am always second-guessing where I stand. Working, being productive, without being so overly sensitive to criticism that even my boss calling sends me into a panic and anything she says brings me to tears. I have an easy job it shouldn't be like that....but I have major problems with people in authority intimidating me. Not thinking about how I don't fit in and simply accepting that I do...for at least a few minutes.
Sorry I guess I got to rambling....it's just when I think of normal, I can't help but see how abnormal I really am.
Most of the time, although my church family is always trying to tell me otherwise. I definitely don't feel that I belong to my biological family. But then one of my biggest problems is my own lack of self-worth. I figure I'm not that fond of myself, why should anyone else be. Also if my own family can reject me on so many levels what would keep others from doing the same.
{not that my family has totally rejected me---I've had to move back in with my mom so I am there however....there is no emotional support, just financial support...but no one in my family really gets me}
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