Weekly Goals for 11/26/11-12/3/11

As I mentioned in the previous post, it is time to watch what I eat, and make some lifestyle changes.  So after having wrote down everything I ate for a week as far as calories, fat, cholesterol, sodium, carbs, and protein.  It became time to set some goals.

I found that my average number of

• Calories was  2049.91
• Fat was 59.76
• Cholesterol was 86.57
• Sodium was 2443.78
• Carbohydrates was 335.59
• Protein was 52.5

So my goals for this week are as follows:

1. Keep calories and sodium intake 2000 or below
2. Reduce carbs to 300
3. Eat fruit during each work day (5 days a week)
4. Eat grain bread instead of white
5. Drink 1 V8 during work days (5 days a week)

Skipped Thanksgiving

So I wouldn't be much of a blogger if I didn't make a Thanksgiving post.  But in reality I skipped Thanksgiving this year.  Mom and I got into a fight over something petty before dinner and I decided that I was not going to go and be angry and resentful because I had to be there, and I didn't want to be around my mother.

I was having mean and hateful thoughts about her.  So I stood my ground and decided to skip the family get-together.  It was very empowering.  I stayed home and had the house to myself and took a nap and then did some things on the computer.

The things I am thankful for, well today I chose to focus on the little things

• A day of not counting calories, nutritional information, etc.
• The taste of orange and pineapple cheesecake
• The taste of turkey and mashed potatoes and stuffing and corn
• Taking a nap
• And not having to participate in the family get-together
• Having support group tonight
• And the friends that helped me to get through today
• God and the gifts he brings, even in the bad times

Goals and new habits

So one of the blogs that I like to read called A Holy Experience, has some freebies on it, and one of the freebies is a 100 days Calendar, where you can make new habits and check them off everyday.  So for me my new habits are Time management skills, time with God, budgeting, and I added another one downtime.  I find that it is really helpful to keep me focused on what my goals are and making a conscious effort to work toward my goals.

Since I have found it to be so helpful I wanted to share it with you.  I would love to hear what your goals will be.  Leave me a comment and let me know.

Low Fat, Low Cholesterol Diet

I got the results of my lab work back this past week.  My cholesterol levels are extremely high.  So being as they are putting me on Crestor to control the cholesterol, I decided that I needed to start counting my calories, and carbs.  So I talked to a friend of mine and she agreed to help hold me accountable because it is something that she needs to do as well, not for her cholesterol, but just general health.  So starting today I am tallying the nutrition facts on all I eat, for 1 week just keeping up with how much I am taking in a day.  And then the following week trying to cut back to maintain within certain levels.

Anyone else interested in joining us on this, just let me know by leaving a comment and I can always do an accountability blog on Saturdays if anyone is interested.

I also would like to say I have found a website called sparkpeople that is a great place to track your intake online as opposed to by pen and paper if you would like to join in there.

The Healing of America

I am currently reading a book called The Healing of America by T.R. Reid, it is a book that discusses Americas Health Care System and compares it with the health care systems of other rich countries.  Our system comes up lacking.  In other countries, no one who is sick goes untreated, and everyone is treated the same.

I think that we have something to learn from these other countries, and cut health care costs and make sure that no one is left out, or dies for lack of health care.  I think it is a shame that a person who is sick and uninsured has to go without treatment in America, just because they can't afford to pay the medical bills, when in other countries, they would be treated irregardless of the cost.

Definitely an eye opening book.  I would  encourage you to check it out.

Words like Poison

"I hate you, I will dance at your funeral," the words spew from between my lips like black poison.  I know that they must be piercing to a mother's heart.

It started a few moments earlier, when in a moment of rudeness I interrupted her conversation with my sister to say something, probably something petty, as I can't recall now what it was I wanted to say.  Then her response, screaming at me something rude, and that followed by my comment.  And here we go again.  I say things that I shouldn't even be thinking, much less saying, and the blackness from within my heart pours out.

I must not be the Christian that I think I am because God's word says that if you can't love your brother whom you can see, then how can you love me whom you cannot see.  Then as I proceed about my night I wonder, am I truly a Christian? Do I really have God in me?  I know that He is disappointed, as she proceeds to tell me that I will get nowhere with God while acting this way.

Then I think about how much I hate being here, and the hate that is within my heart for her.  Hate that I shouldn't have.  I think, should she really be the one to die, or would it be better for it to be me.  My mind starts to go into the downward descent that I constantly struggle against, that threatens to swallow me every time this happens.  I hate fighting with her....but inevitably it always happens and I always say something mean and cold.  Then I wonder about my own faith, and my life, how can someone that everyone thinks is so nice, be so cruel.

I don't bother apologizing because we both know that it would be a lie.  Truth of the matter is that I do hate her, and I often wonder why I hate her so much, and why I can't seem to react better when she makes me mad.

The poison from within, it always seems to find it's way out, and I never seem to be in control of it where she is concerned.  Makes you wonder how I can be so nice to everyone else and then over petty things be pushed into something so ugly and black.  But it never fails to happen and it's a repeating pattern.

Change of Luck

In the last two weeks I have had a change of luck.  While going about the classes and my normal routine.  I have received two offers of places to live.  And I have had one job interview, and have another one tomorrow, for the same job.  So it looks like I may end the year with a job and a new place to live.

The job would be part time, and the place to live would be until I could get on with my own place.  The offers both have benefits and I am trying to decide between the two offers.  And moving would also give me the chance to start over with a clean room.  So I wouldn't have to deal with the mess I have now, although I would need to clean as I pack...because I don't want to move anything that I don't need.