Tired of this

Why is it that the more I let people know, the more they tend to want to criticize or judge, or even worse, they become more concerned...and then try to offer advice. I hate for people to be concerned, worse yet is when they actually begin to show it because it makes me question whether I should tell them anything and I have a tendency to want to invalidate how I feel to try and make others worry less. I think that bottling is probably one of the reasons things had gotten so bad to begin with because I wouldn't acknowledge it. Now I tend to want to cover up and fake being okay just to make others feel better.

I'm tired of this...tired of being forced to either accept the criticism and judgments or fake being okay so that people will stop worrying about me. It is so very taxing to never be able to be real, especially when getting better means learning to be really real. I can't get better by not acknowledging the problem, and yet I can't stand to have others worry about me enough to deal with it all. There seems to be a fine line between overly concerned and judging right now with people and it seems every time that I think that I've dealt with one person causing problems.....I run into someone else that I simply have problems figuring out how to deal with.

Sometimes I feel like I simply can't win for losing.