Just came back from my psychologist appt, this morning. Tried to talk to her today about how I was feeling....somehow it led into a trek into the past. She basically when asked point blank what to do about these thoughts of not belonging, she said that it was triggered by my having those feelings in the past and that until I deal with the past issues that there isn't much I can do about the feelings right now. But that I shouldn't beat myself up for the feelings.

Today we got into talking about the false self....what that was and felt like. Then how long I have had the false self, and why. The fact that the false self was developed as a way to get the love from my mother that I wasn't getting naturally. That was why I was having so many problems people pleasing because I started doing that to feel loved. We then also got into talking about my family, mom and dad, etc..

Also because I can relate so well to mom, that I never really developed fully myself, because I wasn't getting the love and support that I needed from her as a child. Guess I never thought about not being fully emotionally developed as being one of my problems....but that does make sense if you think about it.