If

In support group today we read a poem from a book called "100 Poems to Lift your Spirit".  I liked it so much that I wanted to share.


If


If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you
But make allowance for their doubting too,
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, not talk to wise:


If you can dream-and not make dreams your master,
If you can think-and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with triumph and disaster
And treat those two imposters just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools:


If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it all on one turn of pitch and toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breathe a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold On!"


If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings-nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;
If all men count with you, but none too much,
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And-which is more-you'll be a Man, my son!


~Rudyard Kipling
(1865-1936)

Personal Bill of Rights

1. I have the right to ask for what I want
2. I have the right to say no to requests or demands I can't meet
3. I have the right to change my mind
4. I have the right to make mistakes and not have to be perfect
5. I have the right to follow my own values and standards
6. I have the right to express all of my feelings, both positive and negative, in a manner that will not harm others
7. I have the right to say no to anything when I feel I am not ready, it is unsafe, or it violates my values
8. I have the right to determine my own priorities
9. I have the right not to be responsible for others' behavior, actions, feelings or problems
10. I have the right to expect honest from others.
11. I have the right to feel angry at someone I love and to express this in a responsible manner
12. I have the right to be uniquely myself
13. I have the right to feel scared and say "I'm afraid."
14. I have the right to say "I don't know."
15. I have the right to make decisions based on my feelings, beliefs, and values
16. I have the right to my own reality.
17. I have the right to my own needs for personal space and time.
18. I have the right to be playful and frivolous.
19. I have the right to be healthy.
20. I have the right to be in a non-abusive environment.
21. I have the right to make friends and be comfortable around people
22. I have the right to change and grow.
23. I have the right to have my needs and wants respected by others.
24. I have the right to be treated with dignity and respect.
25. I have the right to grieve.
26. I have the right to a fulfilling sex life.
27. I have the right to be happy.

(Adapted by Mary Ellen Copeland from the anxiety and phobia workbook, Edmund J. Bourne, Ph.D., 1990, New harbinger Publications, Oakland, CA.)

Positive Path

Taking baby-steps down MY path.  Since it is owned by me and is what I want it to be and need it to be, it is entirely created by ME.  It is my personal duty to create a POSITIVE path because I love myself, I love God, I love my family, I love others, I love my planet earth and I am strengthened and filled completely with power and hope when I create MY POSITIVE PATH.  When I use baby-steps I make very small movements which don't seem very important.  But when I take SMALL POSITIVE BABY STEPS  I realize and discover that I HAVE CHANGED AND IMPROVED THE FAITH AND POWER THAT I AM MINDFULLY PLACING INTO MY THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS.  I am not saying I don't need others to have fun with and to get help from.  They can always help me to gain more faith (that things will get better) and power (in my body-my heart-my mind-my relationships).  I need to TAKE CHARGE of what I CAN CONTROL.  I need to CREATE MY POSITIVE PATH EVERY MOMENT OF MY LIFE.  THIS IS MY GOAL AND MY NEED.  I CONGRATULATE MYSELF FOR MY GIFTS AND SKILLS OF FAITH AND PERSONAL POWER.

~Author Unknown
Inspired by Clyde

Five Rules of Rational Thinking

1. My thoughts are based on facts/reality
2. My thoughts keep ME out of conflicts with others
3. My thoughts motivate ME towards my goals
4. My thoughts protect MY life and health
5. My thoughts make ME feel good.

My Psychologist Again

So I decided after much thought, that I would have to replace my old therapist with someone new.  I really had mixed feelings about this because she was such a great person and we have had two great years together.  But after what happened the last time I went by the office I felt that I really needed to find someone else.  I just felt that things weren't being handled professionally, and that I was no longer valued as a patient and a person.  While I will miss her in my life....I had to really work hard to realize that I had to do what was necessary to get the best care for myself.

My psychologist

I have an amazing psychologist, she has saved my life twice.  But lately I fear that she is invalidating my concerns and isn't being as helpful as she has been in the past.  After being in the hospital once and almost going back in again this year.  I came to rely really heavily on my psychologist and started emailing her a lot.  So then she has a personal issue and asks me to stop the emails.  I initially had a hard time accepting that and felt rejected.

Then in my distorted thinking I began feeling like she was judging me and not being totally supportive, but that she thought my problems were petty compared to other people's problems.  This also stemmed from the fact that she cancelled an appointment using the excuse that she had another client in crisis that she needed to see.

Well at the next appointment we discussed these feelings and how I felt about it.  Then we kind of stopped the emailing, except for what I sent her so she would have for the next session, just in case I forgot to bring my notebook.

Well then we ran into a family problem and I forgot and emailed her about it...and we ended up spending the last appointment talking about it and my reaction to it.  Well then later after the appointment I found out some more bad news and I called her office and left a message, after not receiving a call back, I emailed her about it....I had to wait all weekend for a response....when I got a response late on Monday, it was basically along the lines of "this isn't a big deal, don't worry about it."

Well seriously this is a big deal and then I felt bad and invalidated because of her reaction to my email, and the lack of a return phone call.  I feel like lately that she has been invalidating my concerns a lot.  I'm worried that I may have to find another therapist. 

I emailed her on Tuesday, basically telling her how I feel and asking if she is going to be able to help me in my self discovery/recovery or if I am going to have to find someone new to see.  She still hasn't returned my email.  Now I am concerned that instead of seeing me being assertive about the quality of care I am receiving that she is going to feel hurt, and just say that she is going to refuse to see me anymore.