Love for Jesus, or duty & obligation

And Jesus replied to them, It is not those who are healthy who need a physician, but those who are sick.  ~Luke 5:31

In my reading this morning, this verse stuck out to me.  It's true, it is those who are sick that need Jesus.  Those who have sinned and those who have problems, not those who think that they have it all together.  I've been thinking a lot lately about Love and Jesus.

Wondering how to get love for Jesus into my heart...how to get that Jesus really loves me from head knowledge to heart revelation.  How is it that we come to love Jesus, madly, passionately, Love Jesus?  Not just accept that Jesus is, and that we believe Jesus for good things...but an all out love for Jesus.

I'll be honest, I've been saved, and I am a Christian, but I'm not in love with Jesus.  In fact, honestly, there are many times that I forget to consult Jesus about my day, my plans, my dreams.  It's sad to say but it's too easy to go about my day caught up in my problems and never giving Jesus or eternity much thought.

I try to do right, and I try to do devotions, and read through the bible in a year or two, and do the things that religion requires of us.  I'm trying to get through the readings and I want to do devotions, but my prayer time is about non-existent, and I'm not passionate about any of it.  I want to get closer to Jesus...but I'm not sure how to move to doing it from a sense of obligation or duty, to doing it from a sense of love and longing for more of Him.

Tell me how do you get there from here?

My Official Diagnosis

I know that it's been awhile since I have made a long post on here.  Life has been busy.  I guess the place to start would be with saying that I received my official Mental Health Diagnosis in January.  Since receiving the diagnosis I have been busy with working at vocational rehabilitation.  I've been trying in my spare time to research the diagnoses to see what I feel fits and what doesn't so I can discuss this with my therapist.

My official diagnoses is Major Depressive Disorder (MDD), Social Phobia/Social Anxiety (SP/SA), and Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD).  Then I also have traits of Dependent Personality Disorder and Obsessive-Compulsive Personality Disorder.

While I don't have a clue what all of these things mean I have been slowly researching BPD.  I slowly plan to research the others as well.  I can agree with so much of the BPD diagnosis that I am sure that I will be posting more about that one soon.

I did start going back to church last month at a new church, but right now due to car problems I am not able to go.

Check Out my Guest Post

Check out my Guest Post http://restorationplaceministries.org/blog/uncategorized/letting-go/

Submitting To God

It's been a long and hard, emotion filled week.  I've found that I've been disillusioned with things, and not getting the answers that I expected and just running headlong into things that were disappointing almost all week.  But today, I stopped this morning and read my devotions, and well I just asked God to give me favor, and I submitted myself, and my day to God.  I said that whatever happened today was in His hands and that I would do my best to remember to give everything to Him, and that I would offer nothing but respect to those in authority, and that whatever happened that I would accept it as His will.

An interesting turn of events, I was moved to a different area today, where I think I perform better and missed out on all of the workplace drama, and I pulled out my MP3 player and worshiped God, and to make a good day even better, my production numbers were the highest they have ever been since I started there.