Safe Coping Skills

I have mentioned before that I am attending classes at the Mental Health Association of Greensboro, one of the classes right now is on safe coping skills.  I am going to list here ones that we were provided today in class.  I have highlighted the ones that seemed important and stuck out to me.

1. Ask for help~Reach out to someone safe
2. Inspire Yourself~Carry something positive (poem), or negative (photo of a friend who overdosed)
3. Leave a Bad scene~When things go wrong, get out
4. Persist~never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never give up
5. Honesty~Secrets and lying are at the core of PTSD and substance abuse; honesty heals them
6. Cry~Let yourself cry; it will not last forever
7. Choose self-respect~Choose whatever will make you like yourself tomorrow
8. Take Good care of your body~eat right, exercise, sleep, safe sex
9. List your Options~In any situation, you have choices
10. Create Meaning~Remind yourself what you are living for:  your children? love? truth? justice? God?
11. Do The Best you can with what you have~Make the most of available opportunities
12. Set a Boundary~Say "No" to protect yourself
13. Compassion~Listen to yourself with respect and Care
14. When in doubt, do what's hardest~The most difficult path is invariably the right one
15. Talk yourself through it~self talk helps in difficult times
16. Imagine~Create a mental picture that helps you feel different (remember a safe place)
17. Notice the choice point~In slow motion, notice the exact moment when you chose a substance
18. Pace Yourself~If overwhelmed, go slower; if stagnant, go faster
19. Stay Safe~Do whatever you need to do to put your safety above all
20. Seek Understanding, not blame~Listen to your behavior; blaming prevents growth
21. If one way doesn't work, try another~As if in a maze, turn a corner and try a new path
22. Link PTSD and substance abuse~recognize substances as an attempt to self-medicate
23. Alone is better than a bad relationship~If only treaters are safe for now, that's ok
24. Create a new story~You are the author of your life; be the hero who overcomes adversity
25.  Avoid Avoidable Suffering~Prevent bad situations in advance
26. Ask Others~Ask others if your belief is accurate
27. Get Organized~You'll feel more in control with lists, "to-do's" and a clean house
28. Watch for Danger Signs~Face a problem before it becomes huge; notice red flags
29. Healing Above All~Focus on what matters
30. Try something, Anything~A good plan today is better than a perfect one tomorrow
31. Discovery~Find out whether your assumption is true rather that staying "in your head"
32. Attend Treatment~A.A., self-help, therapy, medications, groups~anything that keeps you going.
33. Create a buffer~Put something between you and danger (time, distance)
34. Say what you really think~You'll feel closer to others (but only do this with safe people)
35. Listen to your needs~No more neglect-really hear what you need
36. Move Toward your Opposite~(example: if you are too dependant, try being more independent
37. Replay the scene~Review a negative event: what can you do differently next time?
38. Notice the cost~What is the price of substance abuse in your life?
39. Structure your day~a productive schedule keeps you on track and connected to the world
40. Set an action plan~Be specific, set a deadline, and let others know about it
41. Protect Yourself~Put up a shield against destructive people, bad environments, and substances
42. Soothing Talk~Talk to yourself very gently (as if to a friend or small child)
43. Think of the consequences~Really see the impact for tomorrow, next week, next year
44. Trust the process~Just keep moving forward; the only way out is through
45. Work the material~The more you practice and participate, the quicker the healing
46. Integrate the split self~Accept all sides of yourself; they are there for a reason
47. Expect growth to feel uncomfortable~if it feels awkward or difficult you're doing it right
48. Replace destructive activities~Eat candy instead of getting high
49. Pretend you like yourself~see how different the day feels
50. Focus on Now~Do what you can to make today better; don't get overwhelmed by the past or future
51. Praise Yourself~Notice what you did right; this is the most powerful method of growth
52. Observe repeating patterns~Try to notice and understand your re-enactments
53. Self-nurture~Do something you enjoy
54. Practice Delay~If you can't totally prevent a self destructive act, at least delay it as long as possible
55. Let Go of Destructive relationships~If it can't be fixed, detach
56. Take Responsibility~Take an active, not a passive approach
57. Set a deadline~Make it happen by setting a date
58. Make a commitment~Promise yourself to do what's right to help your recovery
59. Rethink~Think in a way that helps you feel better
60. Detach from emotional pain (grounding)~Distract, walk away, change the channel
61. Learn from experience~Seek wisdom that can help you next time
62. Solve the problem~Don't take it personally when things go wrong~try to just seek a solution
63. Use kinder language~Make your language less harsh
64. Examine the evidence~Evaluate both sides of the picture
65. Plan it out~Take the time to think ahead-it's the opposite of impulsivity
66. Identify the belief~For example, shoulds, deprivation reasoning
67. Reward Yourself~Find a healthy way to celebrate anything you do right
68. Create new "tapes"~Literally! Take a tape recorder and record a new way of thinking to play back
69. Find rules to live by~Remember a phrase that works for you (ex:stay real)
70. Setbacks are not failures~a setback is just a setback, nothing more
71. Tolerate the feeling~"No feeling is final", just get through it safely
72. Actions first and feelings will follow~Don't wait until you feel motivated; just start now
73. Create positive addictions~sports, hobbies, AA
74. When in doubt, don't~If you suspect danger, stay away
75. Fight the trigger~Take an active approach to protect yourself
76. Notice the source~Before you accept criticism or advice, notice who's telling it to you
77. Make a decision~If you're stuck, try choosing the best solution you can right now; don't wait
78. Do the right thing~Do what you know will help you, even if you don't feel like it
79. Go to a meeting~Feet first; just get there and let the rest happen
80. Protect your body from HIV~This is truly a life or death issue
81. Prioritize healing~Make healing your most urgent and important goal, above all else
82. Reach for Community Resources~Lean on them!  They can be a source of great support
83. Get others to support your recovery~Tell People what you need
84. Notice what you can control~List the aspects of your life you do control (ex:job, friends)

How are you blind to the things in this life?

I asked you yesterday how you were blind to the things of this life. I promised to post mine so here it is.

I would say I am blind when I get caught in the daily grind and forget to stop and see the many gifts of others and myself. Blind when I fail to notice my many blessings. Blind to the truth when I get caught in the tangled thoughts of my distorted mind. Blind when I fail to look at my niece and don't notice the pure innocence of childhood. Or when I fail to take time to engage in play for a few moments with the puppy.

Blind when I am so wrapped up in myself that I see nothing else. Not seeing or caring about the people around me, missing the gift of having each one in my life.

Blind when I fail to see God's hand at work in my life through the many daily gifts that he presents to me, such as the beauty of nature.

But I am not blind when I intentionally and on purpose look for the things that I would otherwise fail to notice in the rush of life. Savoring every second, every moment, and not rushing headlong to the next thing.

Simply noticing. Simply being. Totally engaged. Receiving many blessings when I am not blind to see them.

I become blind when I become self absorbed, and nothing else matters. But when I look beyond me, I find that then is when I can truly see.

Truly seeing opens up a whole new world to explore, and allows me to truly be thankful for all things.

Then I am not blind.

Sandals

In my creative writing class today at the Mental Health Association, we were provided pictures and asked to write on those pictures, mine was sandals.




Walking along the beach in a yellow sundress and my new yellow sandals. I enjoy the feel of the sand as it gets on my feet, the breeze in the air. Listening to the waves crash upon the beach.

The sandals leave me feeling special, and yet revealed. I generally keep my feet covered. I guess much as I keep my real self covered, hiding it from the real world.

The sandals leave my feet open and vulnerable as I leave myself when I chance to drop the walls around me and let others in to see the real me.

The sandals are pretty and fashionable, as some would say about me, but I feel more comfortable in sneakers, being covered and safer from things that could hurt me, much like I prefer to hide behind my walls.

But I leave the comfort behind and wear the sandals leaving myself open much as I am doing as I learn to open myself up to others.

How are you blind to the things in this life?

In a devotional yesterday I received the following:

Beautiful Friendship Flower - Poem

The park bench was deserted as I sat down to read

Beneath the long, straggly branches of an old willow tree.
Disillusioned by life with good reason to frown,

For the world was intent on dragging me down.

And if that weren't enough to ruin my day,

A young boy out of breath approached me, all tired from play.

He stood right before me with his head tilted down
And said with great excitement, "Look what I found!"

In his hand was a flower, and what a pitiful sight,
With its petals all worn - too little rain, too little light.
Wanting him to take his dead flower and go off to play,

I faked a small smile and then shifted away.

But instead of retreating he sat next to my side
And placed the flower to his nose and declared with surprise,
"It sure smells pretty and it's beautiful, too.

That's why I picked it; here - it's for you."

The weed before me was dying or dead,
Not vibrant of colors, orange, yellow or red.

But I knew I must take it, or he might never leave.

So I reached for the flower, and replied, "Just what I need."

But instead of him placing the flower in my hand,

He held it midair without reason or plan.

It was then that I noticed for the very first time

That weed-toting boy could not see; he was blind.

I heard my voice quiver, tears shone like the sun
As I thanked him for picking the very best one.

"You're welcome," he smiled, and then ran off to play,
Unaware of the impact he'd had on my day.

I sat there and wondered how he managed to see

A self-pitying woman beneath an old willow tree.

How did he know of my self-indulged plight?
Perhaps from his heart, ... blessed with true sight.

Through the eyes of a blind child, at last I could see

The problem was not with the world; the problem was me.
And for all of those times I myself had been blind,
I vowed to see the beauty in life, and appreciate every second that's mine.

And then I held that wilted flower up to my nose

And breathed in the fragrance of a beautiful rose

And smiled as I watched that young boy, another weed in his hand
About to change the life of an unsuspecting old man.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This made me think and I want to ask How are you blind to the things in this life?

We used this as a prompt for creative writing today and I will post mine later.......tell me what it makes you think.

Where would I be?

Where would I be if I were not diagnosed with depression and social anxiety disorder. I would like to think I would be in a better place, but in all honesty I know that when undiagnosed....I had no motivation or will to do anything, so I guess I would be still in the same place physically. But I would have missed the journey that I am currently on to find myself and to find greater meaning in my life. I would not be as compassionate and understanding to the needs of others. I would not be engaging in the quest to discover what makes me tick, and in that getting in touch with my true self. The self I wouldn't have found without taking an honest look at me. I have not completed the journey, but I am on my way.

Check out The 7-day Doubt Diet

Check out The 7-day Doubt Diet